You never know how or when someone is grieving.
It could be in the middle of the night, sitting in the corner of the bathroom…
It could be in the shower… during the course of a long walk…
Grief is such a nasty little gremlin. You can go days, even weeks, with an occasional, controllable cry every so often. You start to think maybe you have transcended to a new phase.
And then…. THWACK!
It’s back. Something triggers it. A turn of phrase, a song on the radio, a picture you weren’t expecting to see… and it all starts again. In some ways worse that ever, but in others, maybe not.
It’s in the midst of that pain when you realize, grief is always by your side. Your constant companion. In the shadows, just out of site and reach, but it’s always there.
The tears come so quickly, so fully. The feeling washes over you in its entirety.
Part of you wonders if it will ever end. Another part of you feels guilt because, what if it does?
I have found that the best way for me to overcome the tide, is to think of the person you are grieving. Know that this is the last thing they want you to go through. They understand your torment completely. If the roles had been reversed, this tsunami would be theirs….
And if that were the case, you realize you would never want them to be pulled under by the pain.
So, as your gift to them, don’t let it pull you under.
I often talk to my bestie… I share my pain, my regrets. I let her voice that is still within me respond. I know it is her, because it is a voice of love, wisdom and understanding.
If I hear a negative voice, I know it is not hers. She is in a place far better than the one I am in, one far away from the negatively of this world.
If I hear bitterness, it is most likely voices of the past, of my childhood, trying to tear me down.
I will not let that happen.
I focus on the kind voice, the one that truly loves and understands me. That has a greater perspective than any of us do.
My best friend, I miss your physical presence so much.
But I am so grateful for the relationship we still have.