I saw a post on FB today… it said:
“We don’t meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our path for a reason.”
When we see quotes like this, I believe we typically think about the people in our lives that brought us love and comfort.
But I try to look at everyone that has entered my life, positively, negatively, neutrally or a combination of these.
All of them enter our lives for a reason. We just have to figure out what that reason is.
Especially the people that push your buttons.
I have this acquaintance. We used to work together, and we follow each other on social media.
I can’t say we are friends. We just know a lot of the same people.
And this person was one of those people that really pushed my buttons.
Not intentionally. Not directly. I’m willing to bet they hadn’t a clue this was happening.
I stopped following them on FB quite sometime ago. We are “friends.” It’s just difficult to see some of the thoughts that they post, and the meme’s and videos they share.
But I do occasionally go to their feed to see what they are posting.
Because I need to.
Not to get angry, or to start a negative dialog with them… either online or in my head.
Because I finally figured out why they were able to push my buttons so easily.
It’s because that person is me… if my life had continued down the path it used to be on.
I used to rely on partisan sound bites to argue with people. No depth. No research for myself. Relying solely on the thoughts and insights of friends or like minded comrades. Never really considering where their opinions came from.
Now this was before a world that included social media. A world that was much slower paced that this one. Ideas took time to spread.
But spread they did.
And now, in a world of such instantaneous brain contamination, an erroneous thought can make it around the world in just seconds.
No research… no questioning…
Say it enough times… it must be the truth.
But I digress…
When people can push your buttons, you have to have a difficult talk with yourself as to why they do.
I may be hard, but the result is tenfold in positivity compared to any initial discomfort.
It will free you.
But it does takes time, and some effort.
This is how I have been able to do this.
I have been reading a book called “Lovingkindness” by Sharon Salzberg. She discusses directing metta (loving-kindness) thoughts to yourself, and then to people you know. You can do this for people you love, those you have neutral feeling for, and those you may have issues with.
In a nutshell, you are sending out a wish that each of these people finds true happiness.
These are the phrases that are used:
- May you be free from danger
- May you have mental happiness
- May you have physical happiness
- May you have ease of well-being
When I say these, I tend to personalize each of these wishes to the person I have in mind. It helps me to view them in a happier state, which is my ultimate wish for them.
I have chosen my ‘button pusher’ as my neutral person. I truly wish they will be free from fear, that their mind is at peace, their body is healthy, and that they find an over-all sense of well being.
So now, when I view their social media posts, my anger is quelled, with little, if any, effort.
I know I have been in their shoes. Those are difficult shoes to wear in life. They leave to mind in so many states… anger, fear, uncertainty, and pain.
I wish them well, I wish them solace. Not just now but always.
I am so grateful that I have found my way back to my proper path in life. It keeps me sane in a time of pandemic. It makes me appreciate those I love, the blessings of my life. I have so many.
It allows me to be able to understand all those that have crossed my path.
And that may be the greatest blessing of all.