In Search of Joy

The other day, I was in the checkout line of our local grocery store, when these three things were happening:

• I was looking at the cover of People Magazine, with Kobe Bryant on the cover
• I was holding a sympathy card in one hand, for a man that had lost his wife quite suddenly to a heart attack
• In my other hand was my cell phone, waiting to hear back from a friend whose husband was in the hospital battling pneumonia, on top of stage four cancer…

So much sadness going on… but it made me realize…

We need to spend everyday in search of joy. 

Shit is going to happen… it’s just part of life. We can’t control that…

But we can control how we handle ourselves and our outlook. 

Everyday, we need to find joy in everything we possible can… to share that joy with everyone we come in contact with, both friends and strangers. 

I know we can’t do that 24/7… so don’t beat yourself up when you slip…

You just make it something that resides in the forefront of your mind.

It’s so important to do this… others will appreciate it…

And you can recall these moments to hold you together when everything seems to be going to hell in a hand basket. 

First Kobe…

He was our Baby Boy. Meryl (my BFF) was a HUGE Laker fan, and it rubbed off on me. When Kobe came on board back in 1996, he was only 18 years old. And that’s why we called him Baby Boy…. he was just a baby.

When you watched him play, you could just see the joy on his face, in his essence. He was living the dream.

His joy was contagious. We all caught it. We wrapped ourselves up in it. It felt so good.

And now he was gone. As well as Gigi… and seven other souls… taken far too soon…

But I still remember the joy Kobe gave us… and I always will.

Now Elly…

John and Elly were Meryl’s next door neighbors for years. Since my husband abd I were living on the other side of the country then, I don’t have as many memories of John and Elly.

Thirteen years ago, John, Elly, Meryl, and my husband and I went on a Caribbean cruise together. One of my favorite memories from that trip was a lunch we shared in Belize, drinking Belikin beer and eating some of the best chicken thighs I have ever had.

Good food… good beer… good people… the best of memories are made of these ingredients…

And now Elly was gone. 

But I will always remember that lunch.. and the laughter…

And now Sy…

Sy is the husband Susan, of one of my Meryl’s oldest and dearest friends. He was diagnosed with cancer the same day Meryl was admitted to the hospital for the last time. He had been receiving radiation treatment for several months, and now he had just come down with pneumonia. 

I have quite a few memories of times with Susan, but not as many with both her and Sy. But I do have a favorite memory… the time I first met Sy.

Meryl and I had gone out to dinner with them one evening when they were in town, and when we were waiting for the valet to retrieve our cars, I remember Sy had something on his face, and Susan reached up to wipe it off.

And in that moment, I new they were a good match.

I can’t tell you exactly what prompted that feeling… I just knew they would always take care of each other.

It was one of those quiet joyful moments. Still brings a smile to my face.

Sy is still with us. And they are still taking care of each other, and still fighting the good fight… together…

Standing in that checkout line, I thought of all those moments of joy, and they held me together.

Someone once said the grief is the price we pay for love…

It’s steep price, but well worth it…

Update: Sy passed away on February 19, 2020. He held on a few days past his wife Susan’s birthday.

Still looking out for each other… 

“Alav Hashalom”